Why Are We Really Chasing Success?

Here's the thing: too many of us chase the dream of spending more time with our families by relentlessly pursuing success - while sacrificing the very moments we should cherish most.

What Is The Real Cost of Waiting?

When I ask people why they work so hard, I keep hearing the same thing: "To spend more time with my family." Yet there they are, missing developmental milestones and everyday experiences with their families today, when their kids are young and need them most. The pattern I'm seeing is a relentless chase with no clear finish line, leaving little room for true presence - often both now and in the future.

"If you're always chasing tomorrow, you might miss today."

Why We Align Ambitions with Meaning

My wife and I set ambitious growth goals. Big ones. Ten-year, three-year, yearly, and quarterly. Our core categories are Health & Wellness, Relationship & Family and Financial & Career (Building a Portfolio worth 25mil). That number isn't about greed; it's the math we've done to ensure our time is entirely our own. These are the things we consider our highest priorities and drivers.

For me, time is scary. After my father passed away in his 50s, I recognized life's brevity in a way I hadn't before. We now invest considerable time aligning what we pursue with why we pursue it. It's easy to fall into social norms and chase success for its own sake, but there's more to life than that.

We remind ourselves to live now - because if we were on our deathbed tomorrow, you can bet your ass we wouldn't be regretting not working harder and longer hours.

How We Are Building Life Experience Points

I'm heavily inspired by the philosophy in 'Die with Zero'. The idea that the utility of money declines as we age, but the value of memories compounds.

In a nutshell, we now focus on planning for the future while embracing the present. For us, it's not about leaving nothing for our daughter; it's about enriching her life now and helping where and when we can.

We travel overseas annually. We enjoy meals together. We search for new experiences, have tech-free nights, and go to parks and activities as a family. Where we can, we cut or delegate tasks that steal time from us or find ways to automate them - leveraging rental managers, ready-made meals, robot cleaners, and AI agents for repeatable time-draining tasks like periodically finding and inquiring about new business acquisition opportunities.

The Trade-Offs of Modern Fatherhood

Look, the trade-off is real. Friends and acquaintances seem to be racing forward. Many of us have a constant feeling that if we stop any activities, we will fall behind. I struggled with this heavily!

But from an unexpected source - I watched the children's cartoon Bluey with my daughter - I found a reminder: Run your own race. Looking at my daughter, I had an 'Aha!' moment: if we try to copy everyone else's pace, we’ll never feel satisfied or find our own path.

From my experiences now, saying no and cutting out time suckers has actually been one of my biggest success factors. It allows us to be clear about our goals and priorities, to make deliberate choices and better use of our valuable time.

Other people love feeling busy to protect their identity. I prefer to see and feel value and happiness - financially, physically, and most importantly, with my family. This means sometimes saying no to work that doesn't align with our core values or goals. It's about making space for family in a world that demands constant hustle.

Takeaway

Figure out your why. Define your 'achievement' goals and what you actually desire so you're not endlessly chasing and saying yes to things dragging you back. Most importantly, be present for those who matter most.

The irony is unmistakable: we work relentlessly to create time with our families, all while that time slips away. Don't let the pursuit of tomorrow's success steal today's moments.

Call to Action: What can you cut, delegate, or automate to make more room for family today? Don't wait for tomorrow. Start now.